Melancholy

I've got the 'ump this evening and not even sure why - I've been beating myself up for not giving more attention to my blog - but I kid you not, the summer has been mental busy. Had my first day on the new job - supposed to be for 6 weeks and I think that that is un-settling me as well cos what the frig am I gonna do after that - I know I should be concentrating on what I want versus what I don't want - but there's no time for yoga at the moment either which means that I am cramming in stuff when I get home - think that's why I'm feeling the melancholy. That and the fact that it's his birthday today and I have been having some flash backs - not nice ones either. I read my blog postings on him yesterday - made me feel so bloody sad!!!! What am I doing????? I don't really want an answer to that - I know already - feels like I am on a merry-go-round or something.

First day wasn't all that either - pissed down rain all day today and that really affects my mood - who likes rain?!? By the time I got to work, I was all be-draggled and they were standing there waiting for me when I got out of the lift. Barely had time to put my bags down before I got to walk round all 10 floors in my new 3 inch heels :) NICE!!!!! NOT!!!!! And shake hands with people - and had no hand sanitizer on my desk and had to use someone else's frigging head set and I could see make-up caked on the spongey bit that sat on my ear!!!! I was not impressed. But I didn't say anything - no drama - no moaning - no 'asks' - nothing - I just sat there thinking about the washing I'd be giving my right ear when I got home. I've just sanitized it actually with some alcohol I use on my make-up brushes. Yeh, so it pissed rain all day - my hair looked like $hit and I'm just in a pissy mood now - hmmmpppfffff!!!!!! $hit when you live on your own too cos there's no-one to take it out on when you get home!!!! :) So I just end up taking it out on myself - stressing and getting all neurotic. Where's my Abraham Hicks now hey? Where's my vortex now hey? And then off I go into another spin again.

I did go and watch the sunset last week - it was wierd though you know cos I felt nothing - numb!!!! Felt a little pang of ridiculous actually - so yeh - sat on the log on the beach and had walked all about the Downtown core during the day in the searing heat with cramps in my tummy cos it was that time of the month. I thought I was going to collapse in one of the stores that I went into - bought myself a nice yoga top - pink - only $20 which is a right bargain :)

Had a couple of lovely hot days too down by the pool - proper topped up my tan - in readiness for autumn now - I can feel the shift in the air - temperatures not as hot and today was a kicker carrying that darned umbrella again. Got myself a foam roller as well from a local fitness shop - tried it out at my pilates class last week and they're marvellous for kneading the knots out of your lower back and shoulders - just what I needed.

Went to a dinner party on Saturday night - was telling my BFF about it yesterday - probably the most I have laughed in a really long time - you know when your cheeks hurt cos you're laughing so hard? It was one of those nights. Awesome food and company - we danced and partied like it was 1999! :) Meant to be going to Kelowna with this crew for the next long weekend - just wish it wasn't a four hour drive away - but to be fair the vineyards are worth it when you get there. And I have asked my friend's boyfriend to drive my car on the way there and then it makes it a little easier - of course I will be sitting at the front with him making sure that he doesn't work my car too hard and / or go over the limit!!!!

Not sure what else to share with you at the moment - just knew that I should check in before I lose you!

It's only a matter of time before the long nights settle in, so I will be back to writing more again - it's the weather isn't it? Makes you feel like you should be out and about.

Okay well I am going to take my tired little body now to my red rug and work this stiffness out on my new foam roller :) Chat soon :) Oh yeah, photos are from my walk last week - if you look real close you can see the ferry through the window of the second one. The red bench is in the same building where the piano is - just a different view of the same space - it's the building that he used to work in in Gastown - I know I know - sad cow! :)