Thank You

I am thrilled the share the news that I have a new job, and I will be starting in a few days time - wooohoooo!!!!! :) So exciting - it's like that first day at school, for me at least. I have been shopping for a new suit as some of my wardrobe doesn't fit anymore :( But hey - at least the sales are on. Now to work with adjusting my body clock so that I can get to sleep at a decent hour and up at the crack of dawn with the birds for company :) It's nice to have something to look forward to and the next few days promise to be hot and sunny so I will be able to hang by the pool and get some REAL quality time and not that anxiety ridden passage of time.

So news of the job coincided with a particularly dark time here in Vancouver and something that we do not come to expect - the loss of the hockey game by the Canucks led to riots here in the Downtown core - it was both shocking and frightening to see people behave like that - in a space that truly is home - to see the windows of local stores getting smashed in by hooligans was very very sad - the looting of stores that we walk by every day and are in our neighbourhood. The worry too for friends that were out that night and live so close to where a lot of the street violence took place.

Watching on TV was one thing - I am so very glad that I didn't go out that evening. The next morning, there was a eeriness in the air - a stillness that was palpable - at 9am in the morning, I couldn't hear a stir from cars or buses and the usual drilling on the street down below was at bay too. You could have heard a pin drop. I went Downtown later in the afternoon and walked by one of the largest department stores - each of the 20 something windows had been smashed in and were now boarded up - people had taken to writing messages on the plywood - messages of peace and hope - a chance to share in the sorrow - it took all my strength in those moments not to cry - there was a lot of emotion felt by everyone - and it was right there on the surface - I can't help but feel that at least the events of that night brought us all together again - just such a shame that it had to happen in that way.

So my interest in hockey has waned somewhat from the little I had 2 weeks ago to the nothing that I have now.

A group of us girls ventured out again on Friday night - really nothing to report here to be honest - little or no talent and I think that people were pretty much spent out from the sporting events. I actually left the group and came home early, it was a tad boring - I had already said to one of the girls that I went with that I didn't want to go to the same spots that we always go to - I didn't want to eat the same food, sit at the same table and drink the same wine - "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got" - so we did venture somewhere relatively new - at least we were on the patio instead of inside a bar we have frequented many a time - it was a great spot to view the nightlife. My friend was having guy trouble - you know the typical scenario of meeting the guy, making out with the guy, you get the text which says that he'll be in touch in a couple of days and that text was a week ago!!!!! I did say that this would happen, he spends over 50 percent of his time out of town so it was kinda easy to figure how this would play out. But it's that age old story isn't it and we have all been there - busily and fervently trying to bang a square peg in a round hole because we're so desperate not to be single anymore - hanging to any shred of hope - turning to hopelessness.

So while we waited for another girl to join us, we decided that we would go to another local haunt that is a hive of activity if you want to 'pick up' as she wanted a distraction. It was still pretty early, but it wasn't long before it was wall to wall 'good looking' people on the prowl. We were shooed off of our aluminium bar stools so that there was more room for people to push and shove us at the bar. I was over it - really was time for me to go home - I turned to my friend and said that I know now why I stay at home and watch a good movie - we really don't miss much :) We moved over to a quieter spot to finish off our glasses of wine - one friend was off home and the other wanted to continue on.

So with a roll of my eyes, we ended up doing what we always do! Went to the same bar we end up at and even sat at the same bl**dy table - I got my hot drink of lemon water after the bi*chy barmaid said that they would have to see if they had hot water!!! Looked at it - drank a little and then thought, 'you know what, I'd rather go home and watch Eastenders on youtube' - so I excused myself and walked home.

So there you go - another 'non-event' of a weekend :)

In sharing my glad tidings of my new job over the last few days, I have truly come to realize who my REAL friends are - you have those that are genuinely ecstatic and share in your joy and wish you the absolute best. You have those that are happy being in their negative space and are so content in sharing that space with you, that when you pull and manage to break free of it, they have little or nothing left to say to you. When something amazing happens, they just don't know how to be happy for you. There are those amazing people that over the last 6 months have been a real gift and have carried me and supported me every day along the way as I have ducked, dived and weaved like a wooden barrel over Niagara Falls - and then there is one who is my very best friend in the whole wide world who has been with me since I was a little girl. Apparently we first met when I was standing crying and alone in the school playground on my first day of primary school.

I know that I have spoken of the love I have for my family - in addition to them, there is another 'family' I have - a reflection of myself - a handful of jewels that I have had the fortune to share my life with to date. This friend in particular has had my back since we became really good friends at the age of 10 - we were painting a pagoda - I remember the colours in oranges and browns - and from there we became true friends. We used to walk to school every morning with our arms linked and I would chunter on at her every Thursday morning with the events of the latest episode of Dallas the night before - poor thing, not once did she say that I was boring her out of her mind. Through comprehensive school, I don't think that there was a week that went by that I didn't for some reason or another break friends with her - it would be over something and nothing -  and then we would pass notes back and forth until we made friends again :) I found out the reason for my behaviour on the Tyra Show recently (I wasn't on the show of course) - I can't share the core reason, but the result is basically to test, re-test and test again the validity and strength of a relationship - to basically push and push and push to see if that person will leave you - and if they don't, well then they're yours' :) - really yours' - and this is what I used to do - in fact I have done that in a few of my core relationships.

Well my best friend never did leave and that bond never did break, although we did have a break during our 20's when I went off to Uni and she went off and get married and became a mommy. To this day, this best friend of mine has always shared in my joy and my tears, has been the voice of reason, and a moral compass. This best friend has never ever shown me the green eye where so many other women have, and has always encouraged me with her words and in her actions; she is a truly beautiful woman both inside and out - and the reason why I am bringing her up today is because I want to wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY :) I am 2 days late in writing this as her birthday was on Friday. My intention was to put it in writing on Thursday ready for when my she woke up on Friday morning, but my celebration glass of wine saw to it that that didn't happen! Sorry Love!!

(I'm sorry that I have called you 'she' here too but I didn't want to write your name in case you didn't approve)

In a nutshell, this blog would not exist if it wasn't for my best friend - I love you and I hope you had an amazing weekend :)

So there we go - another week comes slowly to a close - I have to get to bed early this evening - as I mentioned before, I have to get up with the birds in the morning and night is drawing in - there's a red dress that I have my eye on at Zara - thought it would be nice to wear on my birthday - so I am going to try it on tomorrow assuming it is still there and treat myself for my big day.

A very old but very familiar feeling has come back to me again - one of joy and newness - one where I feel a zest in my life - to really start writing the story of my life again - to get back to navigating through those pages on my life - truly living and sharing - being around people again and deep in new experiences. The last 6 months, although some of the hardest of my life have given me a new set of wings, bigger and shinier than the ones before and I know deep in my heart that this is my time - amazing things are about to happen - and as the Goddess Kali reminds us, destruction has to take place to make room for the new.

Thank You to each and every 'being' of light that has carried me this far - and that continues to carry me. And Thank You to the Divine, thank you for this new job where I can be completely authentic - that was afterall my goal. And for my new iphone - with it's pink cover OF COURSE!!!! :)))))