I've realized over the last few days, and after listening more to Abraham Hicks and the concept that thoughts really do create your experience - that I do not wish to dwell on the events of last weekend for too much longer. So the ending to this tale may be a little less extensive than I had thought going into 'part one'. I guess I've just had enough of thinking and talking about it.
Nevertheless as promised..........................I got up the next day really dishevelled and 'spinny' in my mind - I was so anxious now to just get in my car and get home - I didn't even want to shower or eat - just to hop in and drive home. I went up the stairs and my friend was already up - the pot head was still fast asleep - and there was not that much time to go before 10am. I went out on the deck to chat to my friend and him, and it was really more of a fact finding mission - I wanted to be sure that driving pot head home was not going to take me out of my way - let's call her Betty to make things easier to write. So I made it clear that I was not going to drive all round the Lower Mainland in order to get her home - and that it would be better to drop her off Downtown and then she could get the skytrain. But NO - I was assured that the drop off would not be out of my way and that it would not add any time to my journey.
I did not of course believe them.
By 10.15am we were in the car and then Betty delays the action so that she can have another puff - I was furious - now she was going to sit in my car bonced out of her brain - with that energy seeping into the compacted space of the innerds of my car. I know that I probably think way too much about crazy stuff like that - but it just bugged me to the max. Neither of them had a dime to give me there and then for gas money which - well what did I expect? And off we went - me trying to be light hearted cos I had just been told off for being a grouch by my friend - and we started up Highway 1. Listening to music and chit chatting, it really wasn't so bad.
Now that we are 4 hours into the journey and I am knackered, we had to get off the highway so that I could drop Betty off - and there I see it in front of me - 72 kilometres to Vancouver - we're almost there - it was such a relief.
So we get off the highway - and these 2 space cadet navigators have me going in the wrong direction - almost to the US border - this was it - I just lost it!!!!! I didn't say a word but I was just so over it by now that I wanted to just tell them to get the f**k out of my car and then just cry. We're talking almost 5 hours in the car with them by now - and was it too much to expect that they know where we're going????? She said she knew the way AND had a map!!!!! So we got on the right track - I was told that it was 30 more minutes until we got to her place.
You what????????????? 30 more f**king minutes - where the F**K are we????? I was shaking from head to toe - and then 5 minutes before I drop her off - she asks me where I live - I was so taken aback - it took Betty almost 6 hours to ask me a f'ing question - go figure!!!!
She got out - and then my 'friend' and I left to get home to Vancouver. I had to say something - I was seething - and I knew that I was about to explode - all I could muster was that if that drop off had not taken me out of my way, that I would eat my hat. To which the cheeky thing said, 'well did I expect to drop her off on the street' - well actually I f'ing did!!!!! And then when I got to the topic of the bathroom - she said it had been my fault - MY FAULT. I absolutely could not fathom how she came to that conclusion - so I proceeded to explain events that night from my point of view. THEN she tells me that everyone knew I wasn't having a good time - but NONE of those donkeys thought to talk to me - but let's think about the fact that they probably talked about me behind my back which is why I was so wigged out and strung out the whole time. I asked her why no one has asked me what was up and she said that no one knew me that well - but they did entrust me with the drive home!!!!!! I shake my head as I write this.
She then proceeded to tell me that she would not have asked me to come if she had known about the fact that I hold my lone time and free time as very precious to me - and I thought, you didn't ask me - your boyfriend asked me!!!!!!!!! And I wish to f**k I had followed through and just said NO the few times that I had doubted the trip with her in the first place. So I was thrown under the bus - felt well and truly like $hit knowing now that I had been paranoid for a reason and just wanting her to get as far away from me as possible and then just stay there for a very long time.
I dropped her off - helped her with her frigging bag cos that's who I am and then got myself home - as soon as I got back here I was filled with regret that I ever put myself through that - and took myself away from the serenity and peace of my own home - my want here had been to be part of the group and have fun - and I had been so flattered when I was initially asked to go - thinking it was going to be an awesome time.
But as I said to my friend Krystal today who called me Godzuki, which I thought was cute - the gift in all this........................................by Friday, which was yesterday and I got home after work - I came through my front door and sat here and watched a soppy movie with Kate Hudson - had a good cry and released all the pain from being treated like that by someone I had begun to think was a dear friend - and looked at my space and my life, and I realized that I have an awesome life - a lovely home that I have created - with amazing friends albeit most of them are overseas, and an incredible family - I have created this beautiful serene, safe and tranquil space for myself - and I will never again hand over the power to someone else to take that away from me.
And next long weekend I'm bloody well staying at home - doing what I want - watching what I want - listening to what I want - sitting where I want and eating what I want - SO THERE!!!!!!!!
That guys is the end of that tale - it goes back to that same lesson time and time again - don't be afraid to be YOU!!!!!!!!!!
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