The Brilliant Man

She met him for the first time at the age of 7 - the first of her Mom's family - Mom's brother in fact. He had come round in the evening in a black cab - not many people travelled in cabs in them days. Through those 7 year old eyes, she was dazzled by his brilliance - as he sat there in the arm chair and to his left the TV was on - 'Miss World' was on. He was no doubt someone very special for her parents were the happiest that she had known them for a long time - Dad's tone was upbeat and happy - and there was a buzz in the air. He was staying for the night - the ship that he was working on was docked in Portsmouth for a couple of days.

She went to her Mom and Dad's shop the next day after school - and he was still there, this 'Brilliant Man' - he looked all shiny and new - he had a glow and in some funny crazy kind of say, she almost kinda fell in love with him - as a child does sometimes - he was that tall dark and handsome that she had seen in the ladybird books at school - Sleeping Beauty - the picture that she had traced as a child - Sleeping Beauty with her golden dress - to this day she can smell those books in the library - her own personal and private sanctuary - a space of peace amidst all of the turmoil in her short life so far. She hadn't told anyone what was happening - no one.

So there he was - and he picked her up and lifted her higher than she had ever been in her life before - to the top of the stand where the chocolates were - and there she took a brightly wrapped Quality Street chocolate from the metal box. She was the happiest she had been in a long time.

Just one year later - she went to India - Delhi - and in that searing heat she got off the plane with her Mom and Brother and was thrown in amongst the madness and chaos of the crowd - she had never seen anything like it before - people scantily clad - men only of course - wiping their brows with white cloths - women strewn about the floor - those that couldn't get a seat and kids crying - also overwhelmed with the heat and needing sleep - this was India - this was nothing like she had expected and of course nothing like her home. It was going to be such an adventure. And then the men carrying suitcases on the tops of their heads - cases that were almost twice the size that they were - she stood there and thought that she was going to hate every minute from here on in.

Then her Mom told her that her family was there - and the little girl looked up - and through the glass, she could see her family waving to her - people that she had never seen before - a Grandfather who she had never seen was beaming down at them all and waving - she was now thrilled in a way that was so new to her. And then there in with that group of strangers, she saw him, the 'Brilliant Man' :) By the time they got to their family, they were weary and in need of drinks and food - in had been a long haul - and there was hours of waiting ahead of them before the bus was leaving in the morning. So now it was their turn to lay on the plastic chairs in the waiting room - the hot sticky and crowded waiting room - looking at the sad looking clock on the wall - knowing that there were hours before anything exciting was going to happen. And then her uncle, the 'Brilliant Man' came over to her and said that he was going to take her for a walk. A walk she thought - starting to get fraught and feeling the pangs of anxiety well up in her stomach. The mixture of excitement and turmoil brewing in her tummy - and they walked the length of the waiting room - got some tea and then stood and looked at a miniature Indian Doll in a window with it's red frock on.

They both ventured outside and took in the night air - it was quiet for a moment - stillness - and moreso in her mind as they walked step after step as he held her hand as they walked - she could feel that daunting feeling of unsafety as they approached some swings. They sat and spoke - words that she cannot recall and all the time she kept thinking "I wonder what will happen" - she didn't feel all over safe - however after sharing the conversation of a child to a young adult, they went back, merrily back to the rest of the family - there had been nothing to fear - she was safe!

That trip to India that summer was the happiest time for both of those children - they had never been more loved - the only thing that had been missing the whole time was their Dad - a huge gaping hole for them as they loved him so very much - and back then there were hardly any phones, no internet and no cell phones for sure. Her uncle used to take her all about town on his scooter - and she would stand on it, tucked in behind the handle bars - safe and sound - while her brother was with the other one of the three brothers - they had both picked their favourite uncles you see :) Quite lovely! They would drive here and there and go and get kulfi before bed time - and another savoury Indian dish - and everyone about town and I mean EVERYONE knew her uncle - the 'Brilliant Man' - he was over 6 foot tall and would have to tip his head to one side to get in the door of the house - again something new to her :) He treated her like gold - carried her in his arms to the doctor when she was sick and did just about all he could to make her happy - took her shopping and even let her put make up on him - and I mean full from lipstick to eye shadow - as kids do!!! :)

Just a few years later, she went back again with her Mom and Brother - when they were leaving after the month long trip, she stood on the flat bricked roof of their family home waiting for him to come and see her before they left for the airport - she was waiting for him to come and say goodbye - and over that Indian sky and listening to the prayers from the mosque just across the street - and looking through the mosaic of bricks in the wall, she knew he wasn't going to come - she knew somehow and somewhere deep in her heart that she was never going to see him again - she was devastated and could not fathom why he had not made the effort to come and see her for she adored her uncle so very much.

Two years later, she came home from school, and turning that corner and walking passed their car like she always did - she would always look up to the window and see her Mom serving the kids - sweets and crisps and chocolates - only this time Mom was not at the window - Dad was there in his overall - something she was not used to and when he looked at her, she had knots in her stomach, she knew that something was wrong. Walking in - she looked at their faces again - intuition kicking in. She took the small steps to the back of the shop and up and through to the kitchen - there was Mom standing - all upset and looking like she had been crying - and then Dad followed.

The little girls' 'Brilliant Man' was no more - he had gone - dead - he had been taken away. And as that girl stood there and listened to this, her insides crushed and her heart broke into tiny pieces - the only thing that she loved more than her own little family was him - and now he was gone - the one thing that she had chosen as hers' was gone - and that day and at that time her faith in God and her belief in all those fairy tales she had read as a little girl were shattered. Many many many years later - with that same broken and shattered heart, she met the second man that ever took her hand - and that little girl that was now inside of that beautiful woman looked up and saw the most beautiful smile she had ever seen in her life - and with the blue sky above her, and her knees weak like jelly, her heart full and singing, the happiest moment yet in her whole life, and with Sydney Harbour Bridge in the back drop - the feeling of dread grew inside her - 'would this too be taken away?'.

Sometimes the devastating thing is not just in the loss - but in the missed communication - and the people that have come and gone who never knew how deeply and profoundly they touched your heart.